So can you really rewire your brain? And why would you want to?

I am sitting on my porch in North Carolina on a sunny Saturday morning.

I’m noticing that the air is crisp and decidedly cooler. The trees are still vibrant and green but there is a subtle shift in the landscape with the blooming goldenrods and withering summer gardens. Clues that fall is on its way. 

This is similar to other less obvious ways our brains learn to predict things before they happen.

This predictive process allows us to make sense of our world. Our brain learns what to expect and creates faster connections--neural pathways for efficiency. This is by and large a wonderfully useful system.

However… What happens if we learn to predict things that are no longer true?

It may be time to consider exploring early memories that shaped how you think and react to the world today.

But can you really rewire your brain to make more positive associations in your current reality?

Yes! It’s possible. Let’s get a feel for what this can look like.

Back to the question: what happens if our brain is using outdated information for predictions?

It would stand to reason that we would fact check ourselves and “update” the information and associations our brain is making.

That does indeed happen. For instance, if you’ve been wearing the same size clothes for a number of years you’d likely expect to fit into the size you’ve been wearing. If you try on something that doesn’t fit, you may chalk it up to the brand or the cut.

However, if you find that after trying on many brands and styles, you’re still not fitting into the size you’d been wearing it would make sense that you would need to “update” your expectations of what size fits you. We do this naturally all the time.

That is a very mundane example but on a deeper level the evolution of our consciousness is about outgrowing old ways of thinking and being and updating them with the new awarnesses and tools we have gathered from life experience.

Here’s the thing...sometimes we aren’t conscious of the associations, which makes it much tricker to update them. 

This is often the case with trauma, and especially with maladaptive attachment responses which were formed (for a very good reason) when we were young, most often before explicit memory (conscious recall). For this reason we are not aware of the associations we are making in our brain, so it’s more difficult to update to our new reality.  

An example of this might be something like… 

A small child didn’t have a caregiver that was available for co-regulation (this is often due to the parents beliefs/attachment styles but can also be due to life events outside of our control such as medical emergencies, moves, etc.).  The child is likely to exhibit behaviors such as crying in an effort to get their needs met, but if the caregiver isn't able to soothe the child on a consistent basis the child may learn not to make that kind of bid for connection because the pain of rejection is more intense than the original need not being met.

Fast forward and what does this look like?

Well, it could look like someone who desperately wants connection but feels scared when they start to feel closeness, so unconsciously they pull away. It could also present as someone who values thinking (left brain) over feeling (right brain).

Discovering patterns like these are at the heart of attachment work. By working experientially with the nervous system, we can calm the unconscious threat responses by orienting to safety, protection, or choice that was not originally available. 

This actually rewires the brain!

We have a part of our brains called the association cortex. It’s spread out all over our brain and links things like sight, sound, or smell to memories. These memories are vulnerable to new inputs.

This means that although we can’t change history, we can work with the memories (even if implicit/unconscious) to create what’s called memory reconsolidation (basically we can rewire the brain with new, more positive associations).

This evolutionary feature of our brain allows us to “update” and  choose the most adaptive response. This may take time, but the potential for moving toward brain integration, decreased reactivity, and increased resilience is one of the most hopeful aspects of attachment and somatic work.

If you would like to chat to learn more about my work or if I’m a good fit for your needs consider booking a free 15 minute discovery call