Expansion and Contraction
Winter is typically the hardest season for me, especially late winter. I’m no longer as charmed by cozy socks and warm beverages. Instead, I feel the stirrings of Spring and my own desire to be out in the world more. This is the natural order of things. After a period of contraction (Fall/Winter) there is expansion (Spring/Summer) and then the cycle continues with a natural pull to go inward again. We are mammals and our very biology is tuned into the rhythms of nature.
In fact, Peter Levine developed Somatic Experiencing after getting his doctorates in Medical Biophysics and Psychology. He questioned why animals in the wild don’t become traumatized like humans. Addressing his conclusions is a bit outside the scope of this writing, but his contributions to understanding the nervous system have had a monumental impact on science and therapeutic approaches to healing trauma.
From a nervous system perspective, our wellness is directly linked to our ability to adapt and fluctuate with what is happening in the present moment. In psychology, spiritual traditions, and mindfulness practices we call this ability to “be with” presence or attunement. Dr. Dan Siegal refers to this as the “River of Integration” In his analogy of a river the banks are chaos or rigidity. The center of the river is integration (Interpersonal Neurobiology actually says that integration is the marker of well-being). Dr. Siegal defines the qualities of integration through the acronym F.A.C.E.S. Flexible, Adaptive, Coherent, Energized, and Stable
Having a flexible nervous system that can contract without shutting down (or hitting the bank of rigidity) and expanding while still remaining grounded (or hitting the bank of chaos) is a resilient system. This expansion and contraction are happening in many ways both small and large.
An example would be the simple act of breathing- inhale (expansion) and exhale (contraction). Setting healthy boundaries with kids is another familiar scenario. For optimal well-being, there needs to be some containment/safety (contraction). There also needs to be opportunities for curiosity, exploration, play, and growing independence (expansion). As you can imagine, there is more regulation for everyone when there is an appropriate balance. Not to spin-off too deep into another tangent but the greatest truths are paradoxical. So in keeping with our parenting analogy- children are often the freest to explore and create (expansion) when they know there are solid boundaries in place (contraction). We as adults are no different.
Using myself as an example, the predictable turning of the seasons is comforting (contracting), however, there is also a vitality that comes from novelty (expansion). I was lucky enough to leave my regular routine and go to Guatemala this January. I’ve been thinking a lot about the impact that trip had on my nervous system and psyche. Read on if you are interested in a personal account of my nervous system contracting, expanding, and growing in capacity.
Omicron was raging so I was completely isolating. I switched all of my sessions to zoom and literally didn’t leave my house for almost two weeks. Then in a rather hectic departure full of obstacles I flew to Guatemala. Within a day, I went from isolation and 20 degree temps to being with friends at a retreat center and wearing flip flops.
This trip gave me a clear experience of feeling my system expand and contract. The warmer weather was only one aspect of the expansion. Anytime I travel and interface with another culture, something inside of me expands, and while I do contract again it’s never quite as small. I’ve grown. Imagine blowing up a balloon then letting the air out. It never goes back to its original size.
It was particularly interesting to experience that kind of expansion after these last few years of covid. I almost needed something as grand as an international trip to feel just how contracted I had become.
It actually took me a few days to adjust and settle in. At first, I wasn’t fully taking in the goodness- –I questioned my worthiness to be on such a trip, felt sadness that travel, leisure, or luxury aren’t part of my normal experience, and felt what Brene Brown calls foreboding joy–this is when feeling something good becomes uncomfortable because we are vulnerable to the pain of it going away. However, after taking note of these thoughts and doing some internal dialoguing to reframe my thinking, I was able to really fill myself with the goodness of the trip.
By taking in the good I was working the expansion side of my nervous system I was increasing what Dr. Dan Siegal has coined the window of tolerance–which leads to increased resiliency.
Our journey home provided the expected contraction cycle. It was a bit more dramatic than anticipated though. It involved leaving in the middle of the night to avoid a revolution, being protected by men with machetes, our boat running out of gas, two travel partners getting sick, having no money or way to get more, and many other challenges that make for an epic story that will likely be told by all that were involved for years to come. The thing that struck me most about our departure was that despite the CRAZY difficulties, I stayed regulated. I had the qualities of F.A.C.E.S. It was noticeable because I didn’t have this same level of tolerance for challenges before the trip. In fact, prior to leaving for Guatemala I almost didn’t go because it felt too hard.
After five days of unwinding, taking in more joy, and settling back into my body my “window of tolerance” had increased. My metaphorical gas tank got filled. When our travels home got challenging I had more capacity to be with the struggle. I was able to be with the contraction without becoming dysregulated. I had the flexibility within my system. To be fair, there were other factors that are part of this increased resilience. I was with dear friends and we continually felt supported by one another (and strangers). There is so much I could say or that science already says about how relationships and support are primary contributors to resilience. My experience felt like a tiny example of what we are navigating collectively. We are all embedded in personal and collective cycles. As our news cycle becomes so global (expansion) and our lives are more isolated (contraction) many are losing some of the flexibility to manage the end ranges of our experiences (smaller windows of tolerance). I know I was, but luckily I was able to disrupt the pattern with a novel and memorable experience.
I hope that with the arrival of Spring you experience some of what I did in Guatemala– a sense of wonder and connection to self, others, and our world